But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
