quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
