White coat. Heels.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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