I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
