Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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