***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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