I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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