is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
