bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
