i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
