I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
