Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
