New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
