Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
