There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
