I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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