Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
