I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Houston, we have a squirter
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
