This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
