so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
