i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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