What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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