You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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