my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
