i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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