My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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