distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
