R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
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So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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