Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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