I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
