you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
