Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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