I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm sobbing to NWA
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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