im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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