Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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