just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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