my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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