I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
