Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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