that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
