Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
