12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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