this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
