Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
