He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize