Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
