So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
