Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Someone shattered a urinal.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
