it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
