I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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