You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
