dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize