the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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