She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
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A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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