at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
did i just pee glitter
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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