I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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