One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
