what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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