I can tuck mytits in my pants
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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