It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
