john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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