I smell stomach acid.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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